But the only place I want to return to is that underground room buried in books. I want to return to that room with only a bed, a burner, a chair, and mountains of books. I want to go back. I want to go back to those times.
If I could return to that house and spend my days together with Nezumi, I would have no regrets.
But we can’t go back anymore. Those days have already turned into a past that we can never again reach.
We already can’t…
- Volume 9 Chapter 4
“Yeah. We’ll live, and go back to that room together.”
Back to that room. The basement room in which they lived flashed in the back of Shion’s mind. It was vivid, as if it were right before his eyes. The numerous books he had taken a whole week to sort through; the bookshelves, which covered the wall and reached to the ceiling; the beautiful and lavishly-bound book―Nezumi had said it was a story of a far-off land; the tattered and faded, though sturdy, chair; the pitiful bed with its stiff mattress; the pot puffing steam over the heater; the little mice scampering about the room. Cravat, Hamlet, Tsukiyo.
Shion clutched at his chest. He yearned for them so much, he felt dizzy.
I want to go back, to that place. I want to live those days once more. Those images did not shatter like the phantom vision of No. 6. It didn’t ripple and disappear. It stood firm, vivid and almost repulsively real. It brought to him even the smell of the books, and the chattering of the mice. The impulse to dig his nails into his skin and tear at himself, pressed on his chest. He longed, and desperately so. He wanted to go back.
That room was the only place he intended to return alive.”
- Volume 5 Chapter 2
The dull light from the lamp shined within the room. As he looked at Nezumi’s profile with his eyes closed and heard the deeply whistling wind, Shion felt somewhat like he was watching a scene in a play.
He was sitting in the audience, engrossed in the dimly lit and quiet play. Feelings of satisfaction, comfort, melancholy, and something close to fear yet couldn’t be given a name were mixed and intertwined together, filling his heart.
If only this moment could last an eternity.
If only time could stop. If only everything here could become my entire world.
He suddenly wished that from the bottom of his heart.
Volume 8 Chapter 4